Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
