he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
