Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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