we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
