you guys were way drunker than both of me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
