i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
