He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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