you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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