oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
