I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What did we do last night that was yellow?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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