VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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