I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I didn't notice because vodka
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
