they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
