I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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