If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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