Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
