sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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