**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
