Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
