i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
