we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
