loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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