i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
