I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
