The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
