you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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