good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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