forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
