There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's blow job season.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Pants are for mortals
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
