Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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