He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i think my mom watched the whole time
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
