At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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