I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
