There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
