things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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