No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
