You made me cry and you don't even care
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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