C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
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Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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