I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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