so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
