I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
