Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
