I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
