i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
