i just wanna soil my oats bro
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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