the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
