cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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