my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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