bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I love you. Go after that dick
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
