the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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