we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
