Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
