Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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