I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
