His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
