think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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