You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
