I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Green mimosas i think yes
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
