I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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