ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
