do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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