Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
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Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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